I got in trouble recently – big, large, messy trouble. It’s not important to share the details. My heart is still a bit broken because trust was shattered all around.
I still find myself wanting to defend myself. I want to keep believing that grace enables truth. But amid the bruises, I’ve also been doing some soul searching.
I am a person of intention. What my heart feels and my soul desires are reality to me. But in the midst of my troubles, I’m learning I need to also become a person who more deeply appreciates and embraces the concrete value of action.
This tension between intention and result is an ancient one and I’ve had many teachers in my reflections. These are some thoughts I’ve encountered:
- You cannot change anything in life with intention alone, which can become a watered-down, occasional hope that you’ll get to tomorrow. Intention without action is useless.” ~ Carolyn Myss
- “We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals, others, by their acts.” ~ Harold Nicholson.
- “Knowing is not enough; we must apply.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
- “Well done is better than well said.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
- “Greatness is not in where we stand, but in what direction we are moving. We must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it – but sail we must and not drift, nor lie at anchor.” ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes
- “Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work.” ~ Rita Mae Brown
And then there’ are the words of Jesus, who spoke in clear, powerful calls to action: Ask. Seek. Knock. Love. Claim. Turn. Feed. Do.
I don’t know where this soul-searching will lead. I know reflection, contemplation, deep learning and contented introversion are essential parts of my life, which I choose to live somewhere near a quiet hearth. That doesn’t have to change. But first steps are called for. And, one foot after another, I’m beginning to take them, curious about where they’ll lead.